talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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