Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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