he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
