my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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