Me too!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
