If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
