like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
