i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
