well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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