You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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