have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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