Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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