I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I want her autograph on my taint
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
