"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
