I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
