Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
