flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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