The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
