I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
