some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize