Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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