Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Michael Bay diarrhea
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize