New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize