Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
