just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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