So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
