don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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