I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
