Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You smell like stripper and shame
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize