If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
