The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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