Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dignity is for republicans.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
