I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize