Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
