dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Still dying that you shit outside
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
