Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
