I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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