Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
