I'm drive I can fine osifer
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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