Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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