Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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