Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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