Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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