whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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