We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
