You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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