I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
