ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
