North Korea, Best Korea!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
