you guys were way drunker than both of me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
