then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
