I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
