he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
