Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
