I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize