His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
