Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
