4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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