did you get engaged???
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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