Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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