Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I believe in your delicious
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
