I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
