Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
