Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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