3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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