Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
