and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
